An Update to Work and Self

So a lot has been happening lately, first, and most importantly. I can not express in words the amoutn of pride I feel having directed/built puppets for/acted in this production of Midsummer. I find myself not wanting to admit it, but lately I've also been feeling very depressed, and have not wanted to admit it. It has nothing to do with the production, in fact the moments I am the happiest are at rehearsal working with others. I've been reluctant to write how I truly feel, because again, I don't know who is reading this, so I have not wanted to cause any upset. However, I think my year of grad school was both great and terrible. I have learned a lot, made a lot of amazing friends, but I have no desire to do theatre at the moment, no drive. I never want to write another confusing paper again. I'm very bitter towards the experience, and I am not sure why it is exerting itself now. I was forced to learn a lot and tried to take wevery opporutnity to do so, but right now I feel lost. I hope that this will pass, and maybe once my final essay is done and over with, I can start over again. After Midsummer, I'll be directing a staged reading of Dog Sees God for a theatre company in Millbrook, New York.
I want to be happy again.

Some Research

I wanted to post the videos that we did while in London as part of research. We shot the four lovers scenes, as well as spent a day in the cemetery with Titania, who can be the extremely creepy puppet queen, or really very beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5J91PRE44c Titania standing still

Click here for Demetrius and Helena.

And click here for Hermia and Lysander.

Please note that these are up just for the sake of research, I in no way intend any other use of these files.

More pictures to come soon! and an update of the past few days!
Thanks!!!

Edinburgh to London to New York City

As I take the train for Edinburgh to London, I am sad, excited, and ultimately tired at the same time. We had an amazing run in Scotland at the Fringe, and it was great to be around people who were so passionate about their work. I will and already do miss them, but I know I have to finish the next chapter. So off to New York it is. I'm not frustrated anymore, as I once was because I feel like all the pieces will fall into place, and it might sound weird, but it just feels right and the pieces always come together. I've put a lot of work into this project, considerations, and themes and ideas that Emma and I have worked on. The change of venue was a bit throwing but we understand why it had to happen. I'm not stressed though, and I think that this will be a great project, a lot of fun, and a very liberating experience because it is the first time I have ever done anything like this in my life....I'm pushing boundaries, risking everything, and playing with puppets.....all at the same time! ...A train just passed my window and it was very close and fast and that was not a great experience as I may have squeaked in surprise....oh well, if the people in the train even heard it....hmmm...
I digress...
There is a lot of work to be done but I don't know how else to describe it, except to say that I have earned this. We have earned this. This year has been exceptionally hard overcoming negative people in my life and on the course and some naysayers. I'm ready to prove everybody wrong who said it couldn't be done.
Okay, so I have gotten a little off track here, but there is so much to say....however, a blog still feels not like the right place to put it all. If so, I know that I have to be tactful, because I don't want to tread on fingers or toes.
One day...I'll write a book.....
for now...see you in NYC

Edinburgh: One Week!

All I can say is wow. Wow. Being here seems still to be completely unreal. Norman has been something of a hit, we have had at least 20-30 people in to see our show for the past three days, and it has felt exhilarating. I feel I am also coming along every day with the Norman character. As I get to know the puppet more, he begins to be his own person.
Had a bit of a rough spot, mostly just because I'm juggling a few too many things in the air. After a bit of a breather, and making a list, I've sorted myself out a bit better, and am feeling much less irritated (in general, at the world) and much more confident to keep trying new things. My confidence has been lacking a lot lately, grad school sort of tore me down so that I was afraid of my own ability. I believe I am getting something of my old (and new in some ways) self back. I want to keep trying to make Norman his own man day by day, and watch how he develops.
My least favorite part of the day is flyering and not for the "obvious" reason. I take it personally when someone scowls in my direction. Now look, I know that it's not my fault that these people are being presented with about a thousand flyers a day, however, I'm not forcing the flyers on those who don't want it either.....it just seems to be a stressful, necessary evil...
However, my compatriots here make each day great fun. Dan is going about producing this show like a mad man, up every day on his computer to make this all work. Naomi has given us great notes after every session, and because of her we are getting back some of the magic that we lost in the transition between London and Edinburgh. It's been a bit of a process, but we are all hitting our own stride. Sure some days it won't be there, but once we have it and know how to keep it/get it back, we will be just fine. Lisa and I have bonded a bit, mostly because we share a room, but also because we are on flyering teams together and we try to have fun with it, which makes the time fly by. Max and Ronan fill the day with wit and song....and Amy, Max's wonderful wife, has kept use well fed and smiling for the week.
It's hard to believe that it is passing so quickly. I feel like I've accomplished a lot and nothing at all. Tomorrow, I must finish my second Norman puppet, so that we can have him flyering the streets, he happens to be a great draw, as people want to come up and meet him. In fact, check out broadwaybaby.com for our review and blipfoto.com to see a shout out to Norman!
Okay, so much to do and so little time to do it! Time now to take the contacts out, relax with a bit of a film and then to sleep after doing some editing of Midsummer.
:D

Edinburgh

Honeslty, the hardest part of this whole year has been blogging. I am getting better at it, but I am sort of a private person, who enjoys putting her ideas in a notebook, and not on the internet, however, since I need to start evidencing my own personal process, I am going to work hard to start blogging on a regular basis. So my goal is to try to post a blog once every two days. If I can manage that, I will be in good shape, the problem is that the internet is a fickle lover, who comes and goes at its own will, and I can be rather impatient waiting for it to work.
I'd go into how I remember a time before my life started to be consumed by the internet, however, I don't think that would be of any interest to any of us.
So I am up here in Edinburgh at the Fringe Festival for the first time. I have been here since Tuesday and so far everything has been an amazing, if not overwhelming experience. On Tuesday, two other members of our six member company and myself settled down in the not so comfortable seats of a Megabus at nine in the morning, from London, destined for Edinburgh. We passed the time comfortably, chatting, reading, ( I did several puzzles of Sudoku) and before we knew it, we were pounding the pavement of this beautiful busy city to find the other half of our company. After a brief tech period at the C venue (C Aquila) site, we walked a mile with all of our luggage back to the flat. Once settled and dinner was done, it was time for a good night's sleep.
On our second day, we woke early to get to the venue in order to have a tech/dress rehearsal. That was all a bit much, as we didn't get into the space when we were supposed to and things were a bit of a curfluffle. After we finished the tech, having not had time for a dress, we went back to our flat, where Lisa and Max and myself spent the rest of the day constructing last minute props and items for the show.
A Note about the show: I realize I should have blogged about this a very long long time ago, but seeing as how I am still trying to gain my bearings as a blogger, I suppose now is a great time to talk about the show.
In February of 2010, a mass email was sent out on our CSSD list serve that was calling for a puppeteer. Very interested in trying my hand at getting a puppeteering position, I eagerly replied to the email and set up an interview with the artistic director of the Empty Box Theatre Company, Ronan.
After a tense few days of waiting to hear back to see if I got the position, an email came through with great news! I'd be joining up with them and we would begin workshoping our show the following Monday. Nervous and socially anxious (as is normal) I went to the workshops, and began to get the feel for the company and immediately I fell in love with this wonderful group of people. They are passionate, kind, creative, and some of the best people I have ever worked with. From that point forward, I began to design and manipulate the main puppet for the show, a little French cardboard made man named Norman Baxter. His story is that when he was a child all he wanted to do was play in boxes, but his mother and father owned a hat shop and they were determined to break him of his box playing habit and make him part of the family business. However, Norman grew up and found employment in the local box factory, ticking and filing boxes away. On this particular day, Norman has the fight of his life with his worst fear and biggest enemy.... A Mosquito! It really is a sweet show that encourages children to keep using their own imaginations.
So here I am, my third day up in Edinburgh and today we had our first performance. It went well, although I didn't feel particularly good about it mostly because this was the first time I had used the newest version of the puppet, plus we have moved the set around so that there is not nearly as much room for me behind Norman. This is fine, I just have to relax, calm down, breathe and remember my puppet has weight and he also breathes. If I remember this, I know that I will be able to take the pace down where I was speeding up and also it will help me to be completely present in the show, not worrying about knocking boxes over....
Being here is wonderful, but it has its drawbacks. Emma and myself are anxious about getting our thesis production on its feet, and after a few stumbling blocks, it looks like we finally might be headed in the right direction. Emma is in NYC at the moment and is trying to sort everything out, and unfortunately I am out of touch, which is hard and frustrating for both of us at points. When I am making a little bit of money, it will be well worth the investment to have an international plan that I can afford so that if I plan to keep traveling and doing work, I can. As I stated previously, the Internet is a fickle lover and also extremely frustrating when you have to depend on it solely as your one source of communication.
I'm learning a lot. I am trying to see how this company functions so that maybe in another year or so, I can bring a show here. Maybe my idea for a Native American driven puppet show. I can't wait to be done with my degree to a great extent because I feel like once my paper is done, the showing is done, and my degree is in the mail so to speak, I can really begin to worry about the things that are next....:)